Chances

" I cant go on living my sadistic life without you noticing, so hurry up and give me the okay sign to cry and let me sigh with relief knowing that you approve "



Everyone's given chances to live life. It depends on how you want to live it
Deciding that you're going to be little miss sunshine tomorrow is a bit harsh, yet is something you should do if your little miss depressed now.
No such thing as living it twice.
Or repeating the moment
There will inevitably be a remarkable difference from the first and second try.


I need to breathe, a breath away from everything.
An actual breath where i dont have to think of what could possibly happen with you.
I dont want to have bittersweet memories with you.
I saw what you were like with her, and i dont want that.
I want something better, something alot more promising.
I might be asking for more, but it's something i need right now.
So give it to me straight, and dont make me believe that i can have everything and anything i want with you.
I go out late nights.
I hang around alot of guys.
I dont flirt
I dont cheat.
And for heaven's sake. Stop shutting me out of your life.
Friends we are. I'm ready to make you best friend status. Cause that's how much i think you're gentleman.
Let me look myself in the mirror and cry, and not look dumb for once.
Let me run the shower and just sit there and drink a bottle of vodka and think of you.
Let me smoke just to remember how good it felt.
High on a drug cant be as good as being friends with a person like you.
I need you to hold me.
And tell me things will be alright.
I want you to hold me in the middle of the room when i rip up everything that reminded me of anyone else.
I need you to need me.
I need you to love me.
I need you to want me.
I need you.
And i'm throwing myself out here, cause i need you to notice me
I think so much of what level we can get to.
Friendship. Is the limit. No relationship.
Bound to not work
But, i need you to stop the ex obsessions.
I need you to forget her.
I need you to focus on things you want to get done.
I need to spend time with you.
I cant replace her.
But i'm hell sure i can do alot more things for you and be there for you a million times more.
So. Decide.
Me or her?

Pick me
Choose me
Love me


I dont know what to do about us
We fight. Occasionally.
And when we do, i get hurt.
Im not really sure why, cause you say sorry a million times.
And at that time im like "yeah okay whatever move on" sorta things.
But now. I'm hurt.
Well i dont know. Cause it's hard.




edit: I cant help but think of you right now.

listening to: switchfoot - stars

feeling: mello


I want to make my friendships upon you right now dont let me change my mind <3