The Terror Of Falling Asleep Tonight

So i woke up and told myself, maybe today's going to be okay. I wanted so much to believed in those words. My very own words should mean something to me right?
It didn't. It never does. It's never a better day. And it's never going to be better.
Usually, on things like this. I'm pretty optimistic.
Really. I look forward to good days and special events. But i guess i just took a turn on that.


I dont know why i rant and wail about you all the time. I dont know why i tell everybody else around me how much i love you.
Cause honestly, its getting old.


I never knew what it was like to rely on someone. I mean, rely on someone as much as i rely on you.
Truthfully speaking. Its scary.
To you, all of my words are either
1) fake
2) untrue
3) your just saying it for the sake of it
4) act

I dont know why i hang on. I dont know why i still sit here and wait for you day in day out.



Some of these things have actually been proven to work while in a melancholy state and depression is just about to set in :
1) joke about something incredulous such as the fact that you're actually in a state as such
2) emo or enlightening music
3) days out in the sun
4) conversations about absurd behaviour
5) watching re-runs of favorite tv programs!
6) loathing in selfless thoughts
7) tv hogger!
8) eating every 3 hours
9) spending endless amount of hours aimlessly walking in shopping malls
10) talking to girlies
11) bitching!


I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. Really. But i was online for a short while just now. And Fuad came online. So i started talking to him for a while. I can safely admit that i've had a bad day. And i think alot of people did. Anyways. Fuad was trying his best to make me feel better. And i think i sorta feel better. But oh well. Thanks to him. I'm actually gonna sleep tonight. so Thanks FUAD :)


There were moments today. When i couldnt stop laughing. Wait. Not one. or two. more like a million. I had a tonne of fun with amanda and isra today although it was the most tiring and boring day. Besides for testimonial day and cheerleading competition. Nothing went on. Anyways. It was an okay day!





Today was Cheerleading competition

For Cheras

First Place: Helang
Second Place: Harimau
Third Place: Beruang
Fourth Place: Seladang


For Damansara:

First Place: Tie between Helang & Harimau
Third Place: Seladang
Fourth Place: Beruang



Most teams were good. The dances were nice, and the stunts were amazing. All the houses put in alot of effort. And Beruang did really well. Eventhough they didn't quite win. Well done Zuly :)



I'll post up pictures after sports day
Sports day is tomorrow :)
Super duper excited
It's my first sports day in cempaka
hahaha. dont ask why.




edit:

Dont stop you aint gotta stop. ( i'm no longer going to standby and let you mess up your life. you've had you're fun and its about time you got down to the fact that we can no longer live like junkies and pretend that everything's fine. )




listening to: Koffee Brown - After Party




feeling: morose



craving: gummy bears



obsession: nothing







Dont talk to me when you can use profanities all night long and not feel bad <3