" 44 Days, 18 hours, 23 minutes. "
The Benzodiazepine bottle is empty.
The blood drains out all other sights of the room.
The woozes of space fill up his stomach.
Walking into a trashed room,
to find,
his once a girlfriend strewn on the floor.
Naked.
Bleeding.
Pale
Dead
Benzodiazepine hadn't worked well.
She still went fanatical.
She still acted as though she was okay.
When she quietly suffered.
All her smile's, all her nights.
All fake.
Her hands were slit.
Here face was pale.
The ciggarette buds lie around.
Knowing that he left her.
Should have affected him.
Somehow.
He should have said 'I love you' when he had the chance.
He should have done everything in his power to keep their relationship.
All the should have's, would have's and what if's: dont matter anymore.
Mistakes. All done with.
Nothing more to say.
Nothing more to do.
Should he have taken her to the doctor?
Should he have taken away the Benzodiazepine from her?
Should he have wanted her everyday for the rest of his life?
Should he have said it back to her?
Should he have forgiven her?
Should he have continued to love her?
Should he have done anything at all for her?
Was she worth all of this?
Well.
I guess you'll never know after two days whether or not you were meant to love me!
I dont want to be your distant memory.
I dont want to love you from a distance.
I want you right here right now.
Loving me
Wanting me
Never leaving me
But wasn't it all too much to ask for?
edit: All in all. I made the biggest mistakes in my life. All in all. I find myself useless. All in all. I dont know how to forgive myself. All in all. How did i let you go?
PS:
i dont need phone calls. or encouraging text messages. that gives me hope to live another day. or to do something that will somehow elevate my mood.
and i dont need fucking roses that will somehow bring comfort to my eyes.
cause they bloody well burn from tears.
so please.
unless you have something nice to say.
dont say it at all!
:)
listening to : Incubus - Stellar
feeling: Depressed
craving: love
obsession: it was you from the day i met you, till today, so why cant we have a tomorrow?
I cant imagine life falling into place without you, as melodramatic as that sounds <3
PS:
i dont need phone calls. or encouraging text messages. that gives me hope to live another day. or to do something that will somehow elevate my mood.
and i dont need fucking roses that will somehow bring comfort to my eyes.
cause they bloody well burn from tears.
so please.
unless you have something nice to say.
dont say it at all!
:)
listening to : Incubus - Stellar
feeling: Depressed
craving: love
obsession: it was you from the day i met you, till today, so why cant we have a tomorrow?
I cant imagine life falling into place without you, as melodramatic as that sounds <3
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