Into The Deep

I dont know how i spent my day
obviously
i was an unproductive fuck
but seriously
how can that be?

Kesh is right. i'm a cow
no correction
I'm a Lazy Cow.

this is cause
i refuse to get up to go get food
eat a little too much these days.
watch too many reruns of grey's anatomy
watch the OC out of utter boredom.
sleep like shitnuts fuck cause i have nothing to do on a saturday
laze around
text 24-7
i dont study
and im a stupid hypocrite :)




sometimes
just sometimes
im proud to be called stupid
but pfft
thats only in my purely stupid moments
so duh!

I've listened to john mayer for the past hour.
And as much as i would like to say he's so emo
He's not.
cause his words appeal to me.
no seriously!



diva chunkies
new emanuelle shoes
new f timber sleek wallet
and benefitial info
has sooooooo made my day :)




so i'm officially gonna start studying tomorrow. no joke. no shit. because. exams in like 14 days. FUCK! so starting to get abit panicky :) hey. be glad that senses have kicked me in the ass and told me to start panicking 13 days prior and not 2 days prior.
i'm gonna be responsible and productive throughout my study period
because seriously.
i do plan to pass math
and whatever subjects that i may have failed CONSISTENTLY in the past!




i have english essays to hand up
science holiday homework
god am i dumb
i have not done holiday homework
and holidays are long over
well
heck with it
im still gonna do it.
cause it benefits me bitches!
and we are prolly gonna be given assignments anytime now.
SO
i'm gonna do english within the next 2 days. and science homework sometime this weekend.
but right now
i'm gonna watch two and a half men
and then i'm gonna eat
and then i'm gonna sleep
cause i'm still in the cow mood :D
oh.
and i have to talk to people.
in between all of this.
cause like hello.
duh
i talk to people like all the time
heh :)
that was such a dumb line..






so quote me and tell me what im supposed to do
point out my flaws
and raise my temper
find fault
and blame endlessly
the utter disgrace you bring to myself is disgustingly painful and unworthy
unheard of mistakes
and unforgiveness
dont suffer from something that we can make work
dont tell me what i should do
dont tell me i should jump off a roof
or get back with the ex
all i wanna know is
am i ever gonna forget about you?




do i put up with you
do i let go of you
do i live with you
do i love you
do i like you
do i tempt you
do i please you
do i satisfy you
do i entertain you
****
do i do anything for you?







how do you know if you're the best. how do you know if you're the one. how do you know if you're imperfections are perfections in someone else's point of view. how do you know if you are good enough. how do you know your pretty enough. how do you know if you are smart enough. how do you know if you is what they want. how do you know that you're cut out for it. how do you know that you're not going to give up half way. how do you know if you fit the criteria?

my past
my present
my future
i want it all to lie in your hands
i want you to be the one i make decisions with
i want it to be you
for everything
from now on
you are center of attraction
yet you dont want to be
and thats why
you've walked out

edit: i wish i had you





listening to: John Mayer - Clarity





feeling: pissed off





obsession: HANDBAGS






craving: CUPCAKES!






Rest your weary heart and relax your mind <3