Pledge Of Elegance

I feel like taking a knife and stabbing it through your heart
Hatred is a strong word, yet the most suitable.
The way you look at me, with your big brown eyes trying to be cute. It doesnt work
As charming and tantalizing as you may seem, your hidden layers are far more decieving.
With untold lies
and
hidden wishes
I wish you would have just forgotten me
You held me so close, yet I felt so far.
Why didn't i see you from a distance?
Why did i have to get close to you?
Forget it,
Forget it all!
Your gone, and i'm just your vague memory
No matter how many times i may tell myself that
I still stumble upon the thought of you.
I mutter your name with bitterness as i let off yet another memory of you.
Through all the disputes, vulgaraties, name calling, offensive lines, wordy sentences, and trial periods.
What did you get out of it?
Satisfaction of yet another body part?
The full dose of my inner strength poured out on the table with guilt which sensed up a big spy on me?
Ignorance is no bliss when it comes to you.
Your the apple of my eye.
the truth among most lies.
the benefit of the doubt
yet
so
painfully disgusting to just take a look at you.
If i pretended that nothing went wrong
and went on with life as though tomorrow would be a better day
i wouldn't be a real person.


I am done living my life based on you and your life schedule.
I hate waiting around for you.
An occasional visitor that would pretend to care.
Why do you take so much initiative in actually talking to me occasionally?
i rather not have you in my life, then have you around when you need me.
Distance is our thing.
I dont love him.
Not anymore
I did
Once upon a time
With all my life.
Yet, he never knew.
And that's why i'm moving on.
Getting on with my life.
With no regrets.

I'm not going to be the person for you anymore
I'm not gonna be your occasional guest
Neither your dirty slut
Neither your provider.
I'm done.
With all
And for good this time!
I want to put away all thoughts of you.
And stop writing about you altogether.
So.
Leave.
Walk Away.
Never look back.
With regret.
For i.
Will never.
Come back.
To you.
No matter.
How hard.
You try.
Cause.
We're done.
Cept, i'm leaving.
And you would never know!!
__________________________________________

edit: There is a life under the lies!

listening to: Shakira - La Tortura

feeling: sucky!

Would smile a little smile for me <3